Reflecting Light
by bonnie1175
Summary: Standing in the street, with the Firelight Festival buzzing on all around them, Jess told Rory that he loves her and waited for her response that never came. So, he did the only thing he could do. He drove back home to New York and confided in an old friend. This story follows Jess in New York and Philadelphia when he wasn't on screen. Rory and Jess are endgame.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** **As a writer, I hate to give away my story, but knowing that there's probably a very low tolerance for matching Jess up with anyone but Rory, I feel inclined to tell you that this really is a Jess/Rory story. Please stick with it. Eva will play a big part in Jess' story, but not romantically. By Chapter 4, Jess will be back in Stars Hollow and the Jess/Rory part of the story will begin shortly after. Please stick with me on this story. It will follow canon in the first couple chapters, which you'll keep up with in various ways.**

 _"You wanted to talk to me, so talk. What do you have to say to me?"_

 _Standing in the street of a town that he had sworn he would never return to, he searched for the words to express everything that he had wanted to say to her. He took a deep breath and braced himself for her reaction._

 _"I love you."_

 _The Firelight Festival buzzed on all around them. She just stood there, staring at him with those defiant steel blue eyes, but she said nothing. He waited, hoping against hope that she would just say something. When she didn't, he slowly backed away, before driving away._

...

Jess sat in his car outside of the coffee shop where he had been working, speaking to Luke's answering machine as if he were speaking to Luke himself. "I made it back home. I just wanted to let you know." He had purposely called during the dinner rush at the diner, hoping to avoid the inevitable lecture he would soon receive. "And um, I left before I had a chance to thank you for the money and all. I do appreciate it. I don't know when, but I will pay you back for everything. Anyway, I guess I should go. I'd give you my number, but it changes, a lot. Well, alright, bye."

He imagined that by this point the town would be buzzing with the news, that is if Rory had actually regained her ability to speak long enough to tell anyone what had happened.

He couldn't remember the last time he had spoken those words and actually meant it. He hadn't expected it to fix everything, but he had hoped that it would have at least started a conversation. With just one word, she could have stopped him from leaving. Instead, she stood there in stunned silence and watched him drive away.

As much as it pained him to admit it, it seemed that Lorelai had been right. Rory was over him, and he had no other choice but to find a way to deal with it. He stepped out of the car, and made his way into the coffee house. He nodded at Eva, who sat on a stool on the corner stage, her guitar in hand. He claimed a booth in the corner, away from all of the other customers, and waited for her to finish her set.

"Thank you." Eva said, as she finished the song. "I'm going to take a short break." She practically ran off the stage and slid into the booth across from him. "Where have you been, Jess? I covered for you as much as I could, but I'd avoid Mike if I were you. He wasn't exactly thrilled."

"Yeah, I'm sure." Jess mumbled, avoiding eye contact by dancing two packs of artificial sweetner around the table. "Think I could get some coffee?"

"I'll be right back. I want to hear everything." She soon returned with two coffee mugs and a fresh pot of coffee. "So where have you been? I thought you'd be back a couple days ago?" She filled his cup and sat the pot down between them.

"Car broke down."

She glanced out the window at the brown boat of a car. "That's it? I'm surprised you made it back at all." She raised the blue coffee mug to her lips, her fingers wrapped around it absorbing the warmth. "Was it as horrible as you imagined it would be?"

"Worse."

"So, you ran into her?" Eva asked, a bit too eager.

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

"I told her that I love her."

"You did what? What did she say?"

"Nothing. She just stood there."

"My god, Jess, talking to you is like pulling teeth. What did you do?"

"Forgive me if I don't feel particularly chatty."

"Come on, I have to get back up there. What did you do?"

"The only thing I could do. I left. I got in the car and drove away, and now here I am getting the third degree from my only friend in the whole world." He poked his lip out, dramatically, seeking her pity.

"Oh, woe is me." She mocked, raising her arm to rest on her forehead.

"To top it off, I've become a charity case. My uncle left me an envelope of money over the visor. Guess I can finally get out of this place, maybe find a decent place to live too."

"Couldn't you stay with your mom? I mean, not forever, just until you can find a new place?"

"No way, not forever or otherwise." He sipped at the coffee, and stared out the window. "I chased her through the street, in the middle of one of those damn festivals, right in front of everyone. I'm such an idiot." He slammed his balled up fist against the table.

"I'm sorry, Jess."

"Don't be. She's moved on and I just have to do the same."

"And you really think you'll be able to do that?"

He thought about it for a minute before answering. "What choice do I have?"

"It's her loss, Jess. You're a great guy and if she can't see that..."

"That's the thing, I'm not a great guy. I gave her no reason whatsoever to love me, but she did. Now it's too late for me to even try to make up for all the things I did." He focused on the cup of black liquid in front of him. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. Don't you have a set to finish? Your audience is growing restless."

"Don't go anywhere, okay?" She reached over, and patted his arm. "Be here when I'm done. I mean it."

Jess nodded his head in agreement, but slipped out the door before she had even stepped back onto the stage.

 **A/N Cont'd: Never underestimate the power of a review. Reviews are what keep writers writing. It's not a whole lot of fun writing without feedback from your readers. If you are so inclined, please leave a few words, or PM me if you'd rather not leave a public review. I always enjoy and appreciate reader feedback. Often times, it points out something I hadn't noticed, and can truly shape the story itself. Thank you for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello?" Luke answered the phone abruptly, exasperated after having Kirk invade the diner with a dog that had only looked like Snuggles.

"Hey, you busy?" Jess asked.

"Not really. I just went over to the arcade to get some change, and Lorelai and Rory were here when I got back, so it looks like I won't be closing any time soon."

"You really need to start locking your door when you step out."

"I was only going to be gone for a minute, but then I ran into..." He stopped short of telling Jess about his conversation with Dean. "And you know, it's late. I figured that no one in their right mind is going to be coming in this late."

"You do remember old iron stomach and blue eyes Gilmore, right? I don't think they realize that you're not a 24 hour diner."

"Yeah, well...Hey, I got your message. Glad you made it home in one piece. The car still running?"

"Yeah, it's good. How are things there? How's everyone?" He hinted, not wanting to ask about Rory directly, especially after Luke had warned him to stay away from her.

"Oh. Lorelai and Rory? They're great. They're really good. Why?"

"No reason." He swallowed hard. "I was just wondering how she was, that's all."

"She's fine, Jess. I know I was a bit harsh with you about her, but I meant what..." A familiar voice rang out in the background, interrupting him.

"Hey Luke, we're having pie."

"Ok, just wait for me to serve it." Luke shouted back. "Listen, I really have to get out there. It was good to talk to you."

"You too. Hey, before you go, I wanted to thank you again for the money. I really appreciate it."

"I know you do. Take care of yourself, and call again soon."

"I will." Jess promised before ending the call.

* * *

(2 1/2 months later)

Jess walked down the sidewalk and knocked on the door of the coffee shop. Eva emerged from behind the counter and raced over to unlock the door.

"I just finished closing up." She said, smiling as she held the door open for him. "Come on in. Mike left a little while ago."

"You really shouldn't be here alone after closing."

"I'm not alone. You're here. Want some coffee?" She grabbed a mug and a pot of coffee from behind the counter, before following Jess to their regular corner booth.

"No thanks, and I'm pretty sure that inviting a former employee in after closing would be frowned upon."

"What Mike doesn't know won't hurt him. He doesn't hate you, you know. I wish you would just talk to him. I know that he'd hire you back, if you'd just talk to him. I miss you around here."

"I have a job. I've been delivering paperwork for a law firm. It's only part-time and it doesn't really keep me busy, not like this place did, but it pays the rent, for now. Besides I don't want to be somewhere that I'm not wanted."

"Don't you ever get tired of carrying around that chip on your shoulder?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean, Jess. This can't be all that you want from life, floating from job to job, sleeping in that moldy apartment. You're smart and charismatic when you want to be. You're a brilliant writer. You deserve so much more than this."

"You're starting to sound like someone else I know."

"Let me guess, Rory?" She asked, as Jess rolled his eyes and nodded. "Well, she was right. I want so much more for you."

"What if I don't deserve more than this? What is it with people trying to turn me into something I'm not?"

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Tell me something then, why's it so important to you? Why do you care so much?"

Eva stared at the half full coffee cup in front of her, contemplating her next words carefully. "I care about what happens to you, Jess. You don't give yourself enough credit. You have people that love and care about you." She took a deep breath and collected her thoughts before she continued. "I love you and I don't want to fight with you."

He was beginning to understand how Rory must have felt after he confessed his feelings to her a few months before. He didn't really know how to respond, so he sat there with his head down.

"You're special, Jess. I noticed it the first time I met you. I just wish you could see it too." She reached across the table and placed her hands atop his. "But don't worry, I know where I stand with you. I'm not Rory and I'd be stupid to think that I have even the slightest chance, but that doesn't change the way I feel about you."

"I'm just surprised, that's all."

"I know. I always meant to tell you, and then Liz sent you off to live with your uncle. When you came back, you didn't want to talk about anything but Rory. You had such tunnel vision. I'm not criticizing. I just hoped that one day you would notice."

"I'm sorry." Jess mumbled, not knowing what else to say.

"Don't be." She slid out of the booth and headed to the door. "I think it's time for you to go."

Jess slowly stood and walked to the door.

"Eva..." He reached down and laced his fingers with hers. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. I am sorry."

* * *

The next morning, Jess woke to the shrill ring of his cell phone.

"Yeah?" He groaned, as he flipped open the phone.

"Is that anyway to greet your mother?"

"I'm trying to sleep. What do you want, Liz?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm getting married. Next weekend, actually, in Stars Hollow. I know it's last minute, but I was hoping that you could be there."

"I'm sure that Luke is thrilled. Does he know?" Jess asked, ignoring her request for his attendance.

"No, we're on our way there now to tell him. So, can you make it? It would mean the world to me to have all of my men together in one place."

"Why Stars Hollow? Why not get married here?"

"Stars Hollow has the gazebo and the town square, plus it has Luke and all of my friends are there."

"I can't. If it were anywhere in the world besides Stars Hollow..."

"I understand." Liz answered, disappointed.

"I'm sorry." He grimaced, realizing that it was the second time in 24 hours that he had uttered those words. "I just started a new job. I really shouldn't be asking for time away yet."

"I understand. I love ya, kid."

"I know. I have to go. Call ya later?" He ended the call, turned off his phone, and slowly fell back asleep.

* * *

 **A/N: I've recently updated my first chapter to include an author's note explaining that this is indeed a Jess/Rory story. For those who have already read chapter 1, I feel inclined to ask for your patience. This really is a Jess/Rory story, which will loosely follow the timeline of season 4. The episodes with Jess in season 4 are some of my favorite episodes of the entire series. Ok, public service announcement over. Before I step down from my soapbox, I'd like to thank you for reading. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

_"Hey, neighbor, the guys next door just ran out of crack, so they sent me over to borrow a cup. Hey, nice place. You put those holes in there yourself?" Luke walked past Jess as he critiqued the apartment. Jess had never intended for anyone to see where he lived, much less Luke._

 _"What are you doing here?" He asked, as he slammed the door behind Luke._

 _"Just wanted to see how you were doing."_

 _"Doing great."_

 _"Wow, you're doing great. I'm not doing great and I have running water."_

 _"The place is fine." Jess answered, looking around at the mess that was his apartment._

 _"Fine, not great. What happened to great?"_

 _"All this and no housewarming gift."_

 _"Okay...Okay. I'm sorry. I just thought you were going absolutely nowhere with your life. Glad I'm wrong. Hey, which filthy mattress is yours?"_

 _"Right there."_

 _Luke followed Jess as he headed to his little corner of the apartment. "You've got the good corner, with a view of the mold."_

 _"Yeah, I won the toss." Jess pulled on his boots, and turned to face Luke. "If you don't mind I have places to be."_

 _"Well, let's get down to it. Liz told me you weren't coming to the wedding."_

 _"No way you're here about that."_

 _"I am here about that."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Why? Because you're mother's getting married and you're not coming."_

 _"No biggie. I'll just catch the next one."_

 _"Jess, this guy is different."_

 _"Come on."_

 _"He seems different."_

 _"Jeez, man."_

 _"I've seen him with Liz. They seem to work. We need to support this thing to give it a chance."_

 _"No, we don't."_

 _"You are gonna regret this."_

 _"I doubt it."_

 _"No, you are. If you ever manage to grow up and get yourself together and drop this self-destructive behavior you are so fond of, if that ever happens, you are gonna look back and feel like a big steaming mound of crap that you missed this. This could have been a turning point. You could have witnessed something good for your mother, who, yes, has screwed up a bit in her life but now seems to have found something to make her happy, and you miss that, you refuse to be a part of that. You are gonna be very sorry." The beeping of Jess' pager interrupted Luke for only a brief moment. "What are you a drug dealer now?"_

 _"I'm a messenger. I gotta go."_

 _"You owe me. I was there when no one else was, and I want you there...and you owe me."_

 _"I gotta go."_

 _"So do I...I'm going first."_

...

Jess delivered the paperwork quickly and then wandered around the city, finding himself back at the coffee shop. He had spent most of the previous night tossing and turning, with thoughts of his conversation with Eva keeping him from rest.

He had tried for months to put Rory out of his mind. He had thought that he was beginning to forget about her, yet there he was, with a beautiful woman confessing her feelings for him, and all he could think about was Rory.

He pushed open the door and smiled at Eva as their eyes met.

"Jess? What are you doing here?" She asked, sitting down her tray of empty mugs on a nearby table.

"Can you take a break?"

"I'm off in 20 minutes. Can you wait?"

"Yeah. I'll be over there." He nodded towards their normal corner booth.

She bounded over to his table exactly twenty minutes later, and pulled off her apron before sliding into the booth across from him.

"I honestly wasn't sure if would see you again, after last night."

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Ok, shoot. You have my ear for ten minutes and then I need to get open mic night started. What's going on?"

"Liz is getting married. My uncle drove all the way out here to yell at me because he found out I wasn't going to be there."

"Well, why won't you be? I thought you and your mom were getting along?"

"We are." He paused. "The wedding is in Stars Hollow."

"Ah, so this is about Rory. You can't miss your mom's wedding just because you're afraid to run into her. That isn't you, Jess."

"I'm not afraid of running into her. In fact, you made me realize how much I want to see her."

"You're welcome?"

"I was wondering if you'd want to come with me to Stars Hollow."

"Seriously? You honestly think that I would enjoy watching you and the great love of your life reunite? I don't think so."

"Well when you put it that way..."

"I'm actually really glad you stopped by." She said, quickly changing the subject. "There was something that I wanted to tell you last night, before it got awkward. I was gonna call you, but I didn't know if I should."

"You should. Anytime."

"It's just that something has come up, and I thought it might be a good opportunity for you, if you're interested." Mike glared at her from the front counter and tapped on his wrist.

"Go on."

"I have a cousin who runs a small independent publishing house in Philadelphia. They're looking for an intern, and it sounds perfect for you. It doesn't really pay anything, but they converted a few of the rooms on the upper floors into apartments, so you'd at least have a decent place to stay."

"Living where I work, huh? So much for getting away from the office."

"Would you at least think about it, Jess?"

"I will. I promise you, I will."

"Good." She smiled, before bringing the topic back to Rory. "What are you going to say if you see her?"

"I don't even know if she'll be there. Classes should be wrapping up at Yale, but she might not even be there."

"But you're hoping to see her?"

"Part of me does." Jess picked up a packet of sweetner and fidgeted with it between his fingers.

"And the other part?"

"The other part thinks that I should steer clear of that freak show town. If it weren't for Luke..."

"It sounds like he really got to you."

"It seems important to him. Which I don't really understand, considering that just three months ago he was asking me to help break them up."

"It should be an interesting weekend." She said, as she scanned the room, avoiding eye contact.

"Hey, are we okay?" She turned back to face him, as he slipped his hand between hers.

"Yeah. We're okay." She spoke softly, not wanting to awaken the tears she felt forming just beneath the surface.

"Good." He scooted out of the booth and then helped her up. "I guess I should get out of here before Mike kicks me out."

They stood in silence for a moment, neither one of them wanting to be the first to look away. Finally Eva broke the silence and dropped her hands to her sides.

"Have a safe trip, Jess. Enjoy the wedding."

Jess rolled his eyes, and smiled. "I'm not making any promises, but I'll do my best."

"Good luck." She waited until he was out of sight before walking to the back to fetch her guitar.

* * *

 **A/N - First I would like to thank those of you who have sent your feedback and reviews. I really appreciate it, and look forward to more! I've just finished writing Chapter Five of this story, (Yay, Jess at Yale!), and I thought in honor of that, I would release Chapter Three a little bit ahead of schedule. It's a little short, with much of the chapter taken up with the canon part of the story, but it's important nonetheless. I hope you enjoy it.**


	4. Chapter 4

_He glanced through the window of the diner, hoping to shuffle through without notice, as he had a few months before. Of course, Lorelai sat on one of the stools at the counter, and of course, Luke was engrossed in conversation with her. So much for laying low, he thought to himself._

 _He opened the door, and quickly walked to the counter. "I'm not paying for a motel, so I'm staying with you." Without giving either of them a chance to respond, he turned and bolted up the stairs to the apartment._

 _"Liar." He heard Lorelai shout at Luke just before closing the front door behind him._

...

Jess pushed open the door of the apartment, and threw his duffle on the floor. The apartment looked exactly the same as it had when he last left. Not that he had expected Luke to have made any drastic changes, but he had fully expected there to have been some sign that Luke had been married and divorced since the last time he had visited.

He had barely enough time to sit before Luke stormed up behind him. "I didn't think you were coming."

"Yeah, well I changed my mind."

"I'm glad you're here."

"I'm sure you're the only one."

"Has it ever occurred to you that people here give you exactly what you give them? When was the last time you said anything bordering on nice to anyone, Miss Patty, Babette or Kirk?"

"I suggested a book for Kirk to read."

"So that he would leave the diner."

"I cleaned Lorelai's gutters."

"Because she paid you. I can understand being standoffish to Taylor, because...well, he's Taylor. But you, you walk around with this chip on your shoulder, thinking that everyone should treat you better than you treat them. That's not how it works."

"Thanks, Dr. Phil." Jess mocked, crossing the room as he fiddled with his watch band. _"Is that your dinner?"_

 _Luke sits down at the small table, with his ledger and some sort of unrecognizable food. "Couldn't get my usual table at Le Circue."_

 _"Right." He strolled past the table and opened the refrigerator. "I wasn't sure what food I could eat."_

 _"Eat what you like. Start with the expired stuff."_

 _"Maybe I'll go out."_

 _"I'm hearing a good buzz about a chow mein sandwich."_

 _Jess picked up his coat, noticing the boombox sitting on the table across from Luke._

 _"What's on the playlist these days? I'm guess Jethro Tull or Jethro Tull." Jess reached over to press play._

 _Luke jumped up from his chair and quickly swatted Jess' hand away. "Just stay away from that."_

 _"What's with you?"_

 _"Never mind. Look, eat my food, use my shower. Just don't go poking around my stuff."_

 _Jess rolls his eyes and heads toward the door. "Mr. Sensitive."_

 _"Whatever. Enjoy your evening."_

 _"Don't wait up."_

"Jess Mariano!" Jess looked up from his magazine to find Lane plodding across the town square towards him.

"Lane?" Jess answered, puzzled. He and Lane had never been terribly close. For all he knew, she didn't really approve of his relationship with Rory.

"What are you doing here?" Lane demanded.

"My mom's wedding." He answered, squinting his eyes as he looked up at her.

"Oh, right. I knew that." Lane said, sheepishly. "Well still, Rory's not here, so you shouldn't expect to run into her or anything."

"Duly noted."

"Good." She whipped her head around, and marched back out into the town square. Jess hopped up from the bench and called after her, finally catching up with her just before she crossed the street.

"So, I'm assuming that she told you?"

"Yeah, she told me."

"I was beginning to think that she hadn't told anyone."

"Why did you do that, Jess?"

"I wanted her to know how I felt."

"Not that. Why did you leave? If you hadn't left..."

"Go on...If I hadn't left."

"No, I've already said too much."

"How is she?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Because I just ran after you, looking like quite the idiot might I add. Come on, Lane. Is she okay?"

"She's fine, Jess. She was hurt and confused, but that was months ago. She's over it now."

"Thanks." He knew that he should be glad that she was "fine", but it tore at his heart to hear that "she was over it." "So you said she's not here?"

"She has one more final tomorrow morning. She won't be home until Sunday. Why?"

"No reason." Jess smiled as he walked back to the bench aside the gazebo.

 **A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed and read this story so far. I really appreciate it. This chapter was a little bit short, but it almost had to be so that I could start the next chapter where I needed to start it. Speaking of the next chapter, for those of you reading this as I update, the next chapter will be posted on Saturday evening. It will be the first chapter in this story with both Jess and Rory. As always, I welcome your feedback. Thanks again for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello and welcome to Chapter 5. You made it! It's the first Jess/Rory chapter of this fic. This is also the chapter where I start breaking away from canon a bit. There will still be bits and pieces of the actual story in the coming chapters, but much less than in the previous four. Without further ado, I give you Chapter Five. Thank you for reading.**

Jess was up and out the door before Luke woke the next morning. He had wrestled all night with his plans for the day, and he couldn't afford to let anything get in his way.

He was sitting in his car, outside of Rory's residence hall when he saw Emily Gilmore walking down the sidewalk escorted by a preppy guy dressed in a button down shirt and khakis. Jess rolled his eyes, imagining what Rory's grandmother had in store for her.

He waited until they were out of sight before he got out of his car and slowly approached the open doorway of Suite 5. He stopped just short of the door, listening as Emily talked Graham up.

 _"Graham mentioned that he and his group were going out tonight to celebrate. What did you call them, "The Saturday Orphans"?"_

 _"Yes, I did." Graham said proudly, causing Jess to nearly laugh out loud._

 _"Why not call them the Beer Buddies." Jess thought to himself._

 _"And he thought you might like to go. Would you...like to go?" Jess imagined the look that accompanied Emily's Jedi mind control._

 _"Um...sure." Rory answered, reluctantly._

 _"Wonderful." Emily clapped her hands, happily._

 _"I actually tried to get your grandmother to go too, but she made up some dumb excuse." Jess had to restrain his laughter as he listened to khaki guy suck up._

 _Emily feigned laughter, leaving Jess to wonder if she actually had ever genuinely laughed at anything. "You're something else, you know that? Well, I feel good about this. My orphan is an orphan no more. I'll go now. Bye, Rory."_

 _"Bye, Grandma."_

Jess looked for a corner to duck into, somewhere we wouldn't be noticed by the eldest Gilmore girl, but she was too quick for him.

"Ma'am." Jess greeted her, nodding his head. Emily rolled her eyes, threw her head back and walked away.

He took a deep breath and stepped into the doorway. At first she didn't notice him there, and he took the moment to watch her interact with Graham.

"Okay, well, lesson number one. When your mom or your grandmother starts trying to pin down your specific whereabouts at a specific time and place..."

Upon hearing the second use of the word specific in the same sentence, Jess rolled his eyes, and knocked on the door. "Jess! What are you doing here? Come in." She walked to the door and pulled him inside, in a gesture that screamed, Thank you for saving me! "Graham, this is my good friend, Jess. Jess, this is Graham."

Jess nodded in Graham's direction, and then quickly returned his attention to Rory. "Can we talk for a minute?"

"Oh, I was just leaving." Graham turned to face Rory. "So, I'll see you tonight, 7 o'clock okay? Jess, you're welcome to join us."

"I don't think so." Jess answered, never taking his eyes off Rory.

"7 o'clock is fine. See you then." She walked Graham to the door, closing it behind him.

"I have to admit, I didn't think you'd be so happy to see me."

"What the hell, Jess? What are you doing here?" She stomped back to meet him in the middle of the room.

"Well, that didn't last long. Hot to cold in 2.5 seconds." Jess paced around the room, stopping in front of the fireplace. "Do they really let you use this?"

"I don't know." Rory answered coldly, as she crossed to the opposite side of the room. "I already know what you came here to say, and I really don't have time for it."

"That's a great trick, Kreskin." Jess smiled, disappointed that he couldn't draw out the same reaction from Rory. "I don't even know exactly what I want to say." He had planned on saying so much to her, but standing in her room, he lost all train of thought. "If I've learned anything from our recent history, it's that I need to talk fast, because you're probably not going to give me much time to explain. I'm sorry, Rory. I really am."

"I don't think you know it what sorry means."

"Oh believe me, I know what it means. I've had a long time to think about what it means."

"Okay, fine. Apology accepted. Now if you don't mind..."

"Let me finish?"

She crossed her arms across her chest, and rolled her eyes. "Go on."

"I'm sorry for the way that I left."

"Which time?" She snapped.

"Every single time, but especially the last time." His voice softened, as he took a step closer to her. "I'm sorry that I hurt you."

She stood there speechless, trying to reconcile this new apologetic version of Jess with the uncaring, heartless version she had concocted in her head over the past three months.

"You don't have to say anything." He continued, reaching his hand out to stroke her arm. "I just wanted to tell you how much I regret leaving you that night." He paused, waiting to see if she would respond. "It was probably stupid for me to come here, but I needed to see you. I'll leave, if that's what you want."

"Jess...I..." Her voice trembled as she took a step back from him. "I just can't do this right now."

"I understand." Jess nodded, and followed her across the room towards the door. "You're not really going out with that guy tonight, are you?"

"I don't know. Maybe?"

He grabbed a scrap of paper and pen from her bookshelf and quickly wrote down his number. "Who's Leonard Fleming?"

"No one." She mumbled, as she read the number he scrawled on the page. "What's this?"

"My cell number. I finally broke down and got one." He spoke slowly, prolonging his exit. "Call me sometime, okay? Anytime."

"I will." She answered, with a shell shocked look on her face.

"I should go, lest Luke come looking for me when I don't show up for the wedding."

"Yeah, you should go."

"Ok, goodbye Rory."

"Bye, Jess." He walked back into the hallway, thinking of how it was one of the only times since they'd met that they'd actually said goodbye to one another.

 **A/N Cont'd: Yes, I realize that I did say that I'd post this chapter on Saturday evening. I am struggling with the chapter I am working on right now (Chap 7) and I figured it would be easier to edit and post this instead. Besides, I'm sure it's almost Saturday night somewhere. :) Thanks for reading.**


	6. Chapter 6

Jess climbed the stairs of Miss Patty's with a feeling of dread building in his stomach. The wedding was already running late, and it wouldn't be the first time that his mom had cold feet at the last second and split.

 _"Ever think if you got married today, or even in the next few years, you could be married for 50_ _years, for most of your life. Same with me and T.J. I could be married most of my life to him. Isn't that weird to think about?"_

He heard Liz ask, unclear as to whom she was speaking. It was strange for him to hear his mom speak so highly of marriage. She had bounced from relationship to relationship for years, with no sign that she ever took any of it seriously.

 _"I could be married for most of my life."_ He recognized the voice instantly, and stood there for a moment, trying to figure out exactly how Lorelai had found herself at the wedding. He had considered his mother's wedding a Gilmore free zone.

 _"I don't want to screw up this marriage even more than I want some pot. That's how serious I am."_ He chuckled as his mother changed the subject to drugs. Taking that as his cue, he walked inside.

 _"Are you ready? The crowd's getting restless."_ He found Liz standing arm outstretched as Lorelai stitched up a hole in the waist of her gown.

 _"You're getting restless. Hey, do you two know each other?"_

Jess nodded, and pulled his messenger bag from his shoulder, relieved when Lorelai answered for him.

 _"Oh, me and Jess_ _go way back. He dated my daughter."_

 _"Oh, you broke her daughter's heart?"_ Liz whined.

 _"Ah, I, uh..."_ Jess didn't know how to answer, but as Lorelai spoke up again, he realized that she had saved him once again.

 _"No, no, he didn't. It just didn't work out."_

 _"Good, 'cause I don't want him to be like his father, breaking hearts. I want him to be like T.J.,"_ Jess scoffed, wondering if his mother knew what she was actually saying. _"Or my second husband or like my boyfriend after my third husband who died. They were good guys."_

 _"You're all done."_ Lorelai announced, as Liz twisted around to admire her handiwork.

 _"Oh, it's perfect!" Liz squealed._

 _"She's a miracle worker." Miss Patty exclaimed._

Jess turned to head out the door, lest he come face to face with Lorelai Gilmore, Patron Saint of bizarro weddings. _"I'm gonna go tell the others."_

 _"Thanks, hon!"_ Liz shouted after him.

Jess quickly made his way back to the gazebo, and tapped Luke on the shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me that Lorelai would be here?"

Luke gazed up at Jess, confused. "What difference does it make? You knew you would run into her at some point."

"She doesn't even know Liz or T.J. Why is she here...Oh wait a minute. She's with you, isn't she?" He punched Luke's arm, teasingly.

"Well, I did tell you to stay tuned." Luke smirked. "How's it going with your mom?"

"The dress is finished, and Liz wishes I were more like T.J."

"Parish the thought."

"No kidding. I guess I should get back there before she sends out a search party to look for me."

"Good idea. Hey, just in case I don't get a chance to tell you before you leave, I'm proud of you, Jess. I know this isn't easy for you, but I'm glad you're here."

"You're not gonna get all sappy on me again, are you?"

"Nope. I just wanted you to know." Luke extended his hand.

"Thanks." Jess mumbled, as Luke pulled him into a hug. "Look me up when this is over. Maybe we could hold hands and skip afterwards."

"Go on." Luke pushed Jess away and watched as he headed to the end of the aisle to wait for his mother.

* * *

(After the wedding)

Jess found himself sitting at a table adjacent to the head table, listening to a guy drone on and on about doing laundry in prison.

 _"Career Guidance?"_ Lorelai chuckled at Luke, from three seats away.

 _"He's doing better. He's gonna be okay."_ Luke assured her.

He wasn't sure which was worse, listening to prison laundry guy, or sitting there pretending not to hear the things that were said about him.

 _"Wasn't Jess_ _great?"_ Liz asked, after pulling T.J. down the length of the table. _"It made all the difference."_

 _"It wasn't like it was a hard thing to do, but he did it good."_ TJ added, swallowing hard as if it hurt him to say the words.

Quickly tiring of listening to people talk about him as if he weren't sitting right there, Jess pushed away from the table in an attempt at a quiet exit.

 _"Hey, hey, hey."_ Liz called to him. _"You say goodbye before you leave."_

 _"I'm just going to get more food." Jess explained._

 _"You promise?"_

 _"I promise."_ Jess answered reluctantly, not knowing that he would soon be followed to the buffet by both Liz and T.J.

Pulling her aside, he whispered, "Actually, I think I am going to head out, if it's okay with you."  
Liz raised her hand and patted Jess' cheek. "It's okay with me. Thank you so much for being here. You have no idea how happy you've made me."

"I'm glad."

Liz grabbed Jess' arm and pulled him aside. "Are you happy, Jess? 'Cause I want you to be happy. You're such a sweetheart, my little boy." She reached up and pushed his hair out of his face. "What about Lorelai's daughter? I don't know Lorelai all that well, but I like her. I can only imagine how beautiful her daughter must be. I mean, those eyes." Despite wanting to cut her off, Jess allowed his mother to ramble. "Is she beautiful? 'Cause I bet she's beautiful."

"Yes, she is." Liz raised her hand to soothe Jess' furrowed brow.

"You still have a thing for her, don't you? It's all over your face."

"Shouldn't you be getting back to your guests?"

"Jess, don't be afraid to do whatever it takes. If you have feelings for this girl, you have to..."

"I know." Jess interrupted.

 _"Please clear the floor for our happy couple...eth."_ Kirk's voice boomed loudly from the speakers.

"I think they're talking about you." Caught up in the moment, Jess wrapped his arms around Liz and hugged her tight. "Go be happy."

"You too, kiddo. Love you."

Jess nodded and watched as Liz joined T.J. for their first dance as husband and wife.

" _Liz and T.J. wouldst_ _enjoy others to join them in their modest wriggles."_ Kirk announced.

He watched as Luke took Lorelai's hand and led her to the center of the make shift dance floor.  
"If it can happen for Luke," Jess thought to himself. "anything's possible."

 _And the moon's never seen me before, but I'm reflecting light._

 ** _A/N: Thank you for reading. I hope you're enjoying it so far._**


	7. Chapter Seven

_**A/N: As always, I would like to thank you for sticking with me on this one. It's been a while since I've heard from any of you, so please forgive me for reminding you how much I love feedback. Your thoughts and feedback inspire and motivate me to keep writing. I really hope you're actually enjoying what you're reading.**_

Jess had loaded his bags into the car and sat down behind the wheel before he noticed the blinking light of his cell phone on the passenger seat. He had 2 missed calls, one of which was Rory. Forty-five minutes had passed since her call.

"Damn it." He exhaled, as he listened to the voice mail.

 _"Hey Jess. It's me. I, uh...I went out with Graham tonight, and it didn't work out so well. I was wondering...I was hoping...I'm kinda stuck at this bar, Gryphon's_ _or something like that. I wondered if you might be able to help me out. So, um, give me a call when you get this. I didn't really know who else to call."_

He quickly dialed her number, flinching when his call went straight to voice mail. "Rory, I'm sorry I missed your call. I just got your message. I'm heading to New Haven now. I'm on my way. Don't go anywhere. I'll be there as soon as I can."

By the time he arrived, she was already gone. The waitress told him that Rory had left with some tall shaggy blonde haired guy. She had barely finished describing the guy before Jess ran out and headed to Yale.

"Please let her be here." He repeated over and over to himself as he jumped out of the car and ran towards Rory's residence hall. He turned the corner and swung open the door, finding Rory in the hallway outside of her room with the last person he had expected to see.

"Rory! Thank god!" He exhaled, finally releasing the breath it seemed he had been holding since leaving Stars Hollow.

"Jess? What are you doing here?" Dean asked, annoyed.

"Are you okay?" He asked Rory, ignoring Dean as he joined the two of them in front of her room. "I'm sorry I missed your call. I left my phone in the car."

"I'm fine. Dean happened to call not long after I called you, and I hadn't heard back from you, so he picked me up."

Jess took a deep breath and turned to Dean. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Oh, and and please thank you wife for me too. I'm sure she wasn't crazy about you playing hero to your ex." Jess snipped, turning his attention back to Rory. "Can we talk?"  
Rory opened the door. "Go on in."

Rory stepped aside, allowing Jess to slip past her through the door.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Rory. You've had a long night, and are you sure that you..." Jess rolled his eyes, as Dean tried to convince Rory that she was making a mistake.

"It's okay. Go...go home, Dean. You should go."

"Fine." Dean whispered beneath his breath, and begrudgingly walked away.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm glad that you made it here safely, but...Dean?" Jess asked as Rory closed the door and joined him in the living room.

"It was between him and one of Connecticut's best drunk drivers. I thought I would take my chances with Dean."

"In that case, good call. Just as long as bag boy doesn't read too much into it."

"He's married." Rory dismissed the inquiry.

"Wouldn't be the first time that a married man was led astray by a beautiful damsel in distress."

"It's not like that." Rory argued. "Hope you don't mind if I leave the lights off. My RA thinks that I left a few hours ago. I don't want to draw attention."

"So I guess lighting the fireplace is out of the question."

"Not a good idea. Do you want to sit down? I mean, I don't have much furniture, but the floor is..."

"The floor is fine."

Rory joined Jess on the floor, sitting down directly in a beam of light from the lamp post outside. "So, how was the wedding?"

"It was good. You would have loved it. Prime people watching." Jess fidgeted with the sleeve of his jacket. "Lots to poke fun at, and your mom was Luke's date."

"Really? She hadn't told me."

"It's weird, right?"

"I don't know. Luke has had a thing for my mom for a while now. It's been pretty obvious to everyone, except my mom of course."

"They danced together." Jess added.

"That's what people do at weddings."

"I don't think you heard me. Luke. Danes. Danced." He dramatically paused between each word, trying to make Rory understand. "You know Luke, backwards baseball cap, flannel wearing Luke...Danced."

"Was he wearing the baseball cap?"

"No."

"Okay, you're right. That is weird." Rory smiled, realizing how nice it felt to slip back into their familiar rhythm.

"It's good to see you smile. I was worried after this morning."

"I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to...well, I wasn't exactly sober."

"Rory Gilmore!" Jess feigned shock, stifling his laughter. "What has college done to you!?"

"It was a roommate thing. Anyway, I'm sorry for the way I treated you. My grandma and Graham...and then you walked in out of the blue. Oh god, did my grandma see you?"

Jess nodded. "Yep. Maybe she doesn't remember the whole black eye, running out on you before dinner thing?"

"Oh, believe me. Emily Gilmore forgets nothing." Rory shifted uncomfortably. "So, did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" Jess asked, confused by the sudden change of subject.

"Did you mean it when you said that you loved me?" She blurted out, surprising herself by being some forward.

"Yes."

"Do you still..." Rory stumbled on her words. She looked away from him, focusing instead on an imaginery spot on the floor between them. "I mean, do you..."

The ringing of Jess' cell phone interrupted them. "Hold that thought. I'll just be a minute." He stood up and pulled the phone from his pocket.

"Hello?"

"Thank god! Where have you been, Jess? Matthew has been trying to reach you." Eva sounded breathless on the other end of the line.

"Slow down, Eva. Who?" Rory stood and turned her back to Jess, staring into the abyss outside her window.

"My cousin, Matthew. He left you a voice mail, but hasn't heard back from you. He called me trying to find you."

"I left my phone in my car during the wedding. I haven't listened to all the messages yet."

"He's offering you the internship! Isn't that great!"

Jess glanced over at Rory. "That's great," He said, lowering his voice. "but this isn't exactly a good time. Can I call you back?"

"Is everything okay? I thought you'd be excited." Eva asked, concerned.

"Everything's fine, and I am excited. I'll call you back, okay?"

"Sure, but call Matthew first. He's waiting to hear from you."

"I will." He promised before ending the call.

"Sorry about that." Jess apologized to Rory, as he hurried back to the spot where he had left her.

"No problem." Rory answered, turning to face him. "Something wrong?"

"No. Nothing's wrong, for a change things are looking up for me." Jess admitted, trying to make sense of the news.

"I couldn't help but overhear. Eva..." Rory couldn't stop the words from falling from her mouth. "Your girlfriend?"

"No. She's an old friend from my pre-Stars Hollow days."

Rory bit her bottom lip and chastised herself for the pangs of jealousy she felt taking hold.

"So, where were we? I think you were about to ask me something." Jess prompted, hoping that he hadn't misunderstood where her questions seemed to be leading.

Rory took a step closer to him. "Would you do me a favor?"

"Anything, you name it."

"You caught me completely off guard the night of the firelight festival. You spent all day running away every time you saw me, and then all of a sudden, well you know." Rory spoke softly, her voice hitching in her throat. "I was kinda hoping you'd give me another chance to respond."

He placed a finger beneath her chin and tilted her face upward until she met his gaze. "I love you, Rory."

Without hesitation, she raised her hand to caress his stubbly cheek and spoke the words she wished she could have said months before. "I love you too, Jess."

It was now Jess' turn to be speechless, not that words were necessary at that exact moment. He wrapped his arms around her, and losing himself, for just a moment, in the hollow of her neck.

"You seem happy." Rory observed. "I don't think that I've ever seen you smile this much."

"Just don't tell anyone. I do have a reputation to uphold." He cupped her face in his hands and leaned down, brushing her lips softly with his.

"Your secret is safe with me." She chuckled, as Jess trailed a line of soft kisses along the line of her jaw and down her neck. Her mind drifted back to their days in Stars Hollow, walking through the streets, barely able to keep their hands off each other. He slid his hand beneath the rough fabric of her brown corduroy jacket, pushing it back to expose her bare shoulder.

Rory grabbed hold of the collar of Jess' jacket, dragging him back to meet her gaze. A mischievous grin lit her face as she took Jess' hand and led him to one of the only rooms in the suite which still had furniture.

 _ **A/N cont'd: Ok, so there's Chapter Seven, the last of my pre-written chapters. (I had the first five chapters written before I even posted the first chapter of this story). This has proven to be really good for me, because I don't have to struggle to come up with something just to meet my promise of a weekly update. With that said, it may be a week or maybe two before I update again. I really want to write a little ahead again before I post my next chapter. Let's consider this the season finale cliffhanger. More to come when I get the next five chapters written. If you are enjoying the story so far, or have some insight you'd like to share, please leave me some feedback. It would really be helpful as I write the next few chapters. Thanks for reading!**_


	8. Chapter 8

Jess woke before Rory the next morning. He lie beside her for a while, fighting the temptation to brush his hand down the length of her bare arm. When the temptation became too much, he propped himself on his elbow and softly kissed her shoulder, eliciting a soft moan from Rory.

"Good morning, beautiful." He smiled, as she rolled over to face him.

"Hi." She answered sheepishly. She bunched the comforter up around her and pushed herself up. Jess took her hand in his and traced invisible circles in her palm. "This is weird. I don't know what to say to you right now."

Raising her hand to meet his lips, he trailed a path of kisses from the tips of her fingers to the sensitive skin of her neck. "Don't say anything."

"I...I feel like I should." Her breath quickened, in spite of her attempt to maintain her composure.

"Rory, please..." He hissed, wrapping his arm around her waist, gently pushing her down until her head once again rested on the pillow.

"Jess..." Rory whispered breathlessly, catching his hand in hers. "We can't. Room inspections will be starting soon."

Jess rolled over and groaned. "Stupid college."

"I know...I know. Come on, you need to get dressed." Rory pushed herself up in the bed, and once again wrapped the comforter around her.

"If I'm not mistaken, so do you." Jess answered playfully.

"I'm serious. I'll be fined if they catch us in here. How am I going to explain the $500 fine to my mother?"

"You're serious?" Jess reluctantly threw his legs over the side of the bed and grabbed his clothes from the floor.

"As a heart attack." She watched as his thin t-shirt slid over his muscular shoulders. "I wish there were more time."

"Me too." He walked around to her side of the bed and leaned down to kiss her. "It's your turn to get dressed. I need to make a phone call, then I'll start working on your boxes."

"Thank you, Jess." She reached out with one hand, allowing Jess to pull her up from the bed. Her other hand held tightly to the comforter, making sure that it didn't fall away.

* * *

 _"Hello, this message is for Jess Mariano,"_ Jess stood beside Rory's newly packed car, listening to the last of his voice mail messages. _"This is Matthew from Truncheon Books in Philadelphia. My cousin, Eva, told us that you were looking for work, and it so happens that we're looking for someone to work. Anyway, if you're interested, give me a call."_

Jess wrote the number down, tucked it in his pocket and turned to find Rory walking up the sidewalk towards him. "Your car is packed."

"I guess it's time." Rory answered, a hint of sadness in her voice. "This is going to sound awful, but I really wish I didn't have to go."

"That doesn't sound awful at all, especially considering where you're heading back to." Jess wrapped his arms around her waist. "What's wrong?" He asked, noticing the glaze of fresh tears in her eyes.

"This is the last thing I expected to happen."

"It's exactly what I hoped would happen. This is a good problem to have, Rory."

"Aren't you Mr. Silver Lining all of a sudden? How are we going to make this work, Jess?"

"Come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me."

"Where would we go, Jess? I have Yale, and you..."

"We could go anywhere. I don't care where we go as long, as long as I get to wake up next to you tomorrow morning.

Exasperated, she took a step back, causing Jess to release her. "I can't think straight when you're here like this."

"You think too much. Stop thinking about things, and just do what you want."

"I don't know what I want."

"Don't say that. You do know. You're just afraid to admit it. You're scared, but you can count on me now. I know you couldn't before, but you can now. I love you, Rory and I want to be with you."

"It's complicated, Jess. Loving each other doesn't make it any less complicated."

"It's only complicated if you make it complicated." Jess raised his voice unintentionally, as he started to feel the euphoria of their night together quickly slipping away. "We're meant to be together. I knew it the first day I met you, two years ago, and you know it too. You told me you love me."

Rory closed her eyes and shook her head, tears now streaming down her face. "I do."

"That's all I need."

"I need more, Jess. I'm sorry." She walked past him, and rested her hand on the door handle. "We have to go."

"You first. I refuse to be the one to walk out on us this time." Rory slowly opened the car door, daring the tears clouding her vision from falling.

"Goodbye, Jess." For a moment, she stood there beside the open car door, hating what she had to do next.

Knowing that no amount of begging would change her mind, Jess nodded. "Goodbye, Rory."

The engine roared to life with the turning of the key. Rory took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a moment and then refocused her eyes on the horizon.

He raised his hand ever so slightly, waving as she drove past him.

* * *

 **Author's Note: It's been quite a long time since I've updated. I had the intention of writing a few chapters ahead, but I think I've kinda avoided this story altogether. This is the only chapter I have written in the past 2 weeks. As a fic reader, I love the beginning of the chapter and hate the end. One of my last reviews requested no more obstacles. How I wish I could deliver on that request, but I'm too much of an angst writer to let that happen. I wish that I could explain my reasoning, but no one would want to read that. Hopefully you'll stick with me and see how everything works out. Love it or hate it, I thank you for reading.**

 **In other news, I am beginning to work on my next story, tentatively titled "Somewhere Only We Know". I'm not exactly sure when I'll start posting it, but I am very excited to work on it. I hope that you'll follow me along to that story as well once this one wraps up. Thanks!**


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